Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
