Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
