yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
