I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
