just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
