This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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