We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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