no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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