david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
