he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
