I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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