I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
