i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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