Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
