you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
