oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
