the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
