Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
