i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
