Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
