I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
