nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
