The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
