The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
