The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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