Walk of Shame. In a state park.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
