I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's rum buckets o'clock
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
