now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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