i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
