Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
