can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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