No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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