i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
