singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
