he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
