Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
