theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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