woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
