you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
