Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
