Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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