literally had 100 drinks last night.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
