I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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