i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
