College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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