k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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