OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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