that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
