Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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