Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
